This is the final update for John. I felt I should let everyone know, especially those who have been following his journey and hoping, as we all were, for a different outcome.
I’d like to thank John’s close friends and everyone who tirelessly came to visit John during these difficult six months from near and far. I know it meant the world to John and the laughs and stories gave him the will to fight on. There aren’t enough words to thank Jeffrey who has taken care of Max this entire time at John’s house. I would also like to thank Tony and everyone at IGLTA who were so supportive and generous with John. Truly an amazing organization.
After moving John to Mariposa, we were hopeful that a quieter environment and private room would help him get the rest he needed and give him the best chance to recover.
John’s dear friend, Yarden, spent the week before last with John, and noticed that he was sleeping a lot and seemed a bit down. When I arrived after Yarden left, John was still sleeping often. At first, I thought that might be a good sign, since rest was so important for his recovery. He was not as communicative as he had been before, mainly because he was drifting in and out of sleep.
The staff at Mariposa were very attentive. They checked on John often, spoke with him, and treated him with care. On Saturday evening, as I was driving back from Redlands to Palm Springs, I found myself wondering whether he was getting better or worse. I called Yarden while I was driving, and neither of us was sure. We thought more time would tell.
Around 6:00 a.m. Sunday morning, the head nurse at Mariposa called and told me John was being transferred to an acute care hospital because his blood pressure was very low, his vitals were concerning, and his color did not look good. I immediately drove from Palm Springs to the hospital. When I arrived, the doctor told me John had developed sepsis.
I was able to spend some time with John and talk to him before he passed. I am deeply grateful for that final time with him, but will always remember him as John I’ve known all my life and not him in a hospital bed. When I arrived at John’s house, Max looked at me like he knew that John had left us.
This is very sad, and I will miss him forever. John was loved, and he will be missed more than words can express. Thank you to everyone who cared about him, followed his journey, and hoped with us.
It takes a while to get the the basic arrangements done in California. We are in the planning stages of where memorials will take place, but there will certainly be one in Atlanta so John can be buried next to Mom. As far as other cities, that’s being discussed as well. As soon as there’s an update, will let everyone know.
Fred my heart is broken for our loss of your brother. May you and your family be comforted by the wonderful memories you shared. I know all of us who also loved John will be keeping him in our minds and hearts forever. Blessings and peace 💜💜💜
Thank you Fred for the updates. We are so saddened by John’s passing but are comforted by so many memories and knowledge that he’ll always bring a smile to our faces and laughter whenever we think about him. From high school to Reed Hall at UGA, then Delta in Atlanta to Cincinnati, to Italy, DC. and Ft Lauderdale and the IGLTA – we’re privileged to have known your amazing brother.
I was not lucky enough to meet John personally. However, one thing I know for sure is that he must have been an extraordinary person, based on knowing his older brother, Fred.
Fred is one of the most remarkable people I have ever met. Knowing the kind of man Fred is, I can only imagine that John grew up surrounded by love, guidance, and the values of a truly special family.
Although I never had the chance to meet John, he helped me without hesitation when Fred asked him to when he was out of the country, even though I was a stranger to him. That alone says so much about the size of John’s heart.
May he rest in peace. He will always remain in our hearts. The world has lost a wonderful human being, but his kindness and memory will never be forgotten. ♥️🕊️
Such sad news. Rest in Peace dear John.
Thank you Fred. There are not enough words for this moment… Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking such good care of our beloved John, our brave warrior, and for keeping us updated throughout these months. And thank you everyone who helped, visited, sent love.
My heart is also broken and I’m trying to find some comfort remembering how many times we told each other “I love you” and the amount of beautiful messages I’ve been reading about him. I will carry John in my heart for the rest of my life and I will always remember his gentle and kind expressions.
As I can still hear his voice saying: “this is not a goodbye, it’s a see you soon”. See you soon, my beloved John 💔🙏
Thank you so much Fred! And please take care of yourself 🫂
We have been following the updates for quite some time. I am so sorry that John’s body was just unable to make the recovery necessary. He and all of you are in our thoughts.
Rest in Peace. You will be missed greatly.
Fred, nem consigo encontrar as palavras certas. Só quero que você saiba que estou pensando em você com muito carinho. Sei o quanto você ama o John e imagino o quanto tudo isso deve estar sendo doloroso. ♥️
I’m deeply sorry for your loss, Fred. I did not have the pleasure of knowing John, but knowing you tells me all I need to know. I’m sure John was just as a beautiful human being as you are. My thoughts are with you and your family in this moment of sorrow. Might John rest in peace.
Dear Freddie,
So sorry John has moved on. He was such a good, sweet, funny soul! I will miss him so much.
Thank you for taking the time to write the excellent blog to keep us informed. I’m sure that it wasn’t easy at times.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be in California to help.
Any plans yet for a funeral Mass/Celebration of Life/Memorial?
Much love you & Richie and his friends all over the world! 🌏
Fred and Rich, our hearts are broken. John will forever be in our hearts. Much love to you both.
A kind soul. A generous spirit. Always laughing, always giving. Such warmth and compassion. A truly great friend. “What a good guy” is how I will always remember him. God bless, and rest in peace, John. Strength and comfort to his family and all who mourn his loss.
I am saddened to hear of John’s passing. He was one of the first friends I made at UGA. He lived on my floor in Reed Hall and we have a lot of fun memories from those days. He was later one of my roommates at River Mill, a stones throw from O’Malley’s. He was always a kind and thoughtful person, and loved his family deeply. He spoke of you often. He was a good friend and all around person. I am praying for your family and all who were close to John.
Fred, family and friends, this is heartbreaking news. So very sorry for our loss. He was a great cousin and I will always have fond memories of him.
I am truly sorry for your loss, Fred.
Although I didn’t know John personally, knowing you and hearing you speak so warmly about your mom, brothers, and family made me realize how difficult this time must have been for you.
Please stay strong during this difficult time. Take comfort in knowing that John’s pain is over and that he is now in a better place.
My sincere condolences to you and your family.
Dear Fred, first of all my most sincere condolences to you and your entire family. I can tell you that the news spread quickly in the LGBT community and tourism operators in Italy and I received numerous messages of condolences for you. John was more than a colleague or friend to me. the love that my partner Andrea and I feel for him is immense and we are shocked by this loss. we would have wanted him as godfather at our daughter’s baptism, because he was the first in our family (because we considered him like family, America’s uncle) to meet her a few days after she was born and he was always interested in her, but unfortunately the illness arrived shortly before. for us it will be a pleasure to host you if one day you want to visit Italy where for John the doors of the house were always open. we hug you tightly, Alessio, Andrea and La Principessa Natalia as John used to call her
My darling friend,
I was deeply saddened to hear about the loss of your brother. My heart goes out to you and your family during this incredibly difficult time.
The bond you shared was something truly special. It was clear to everyone who knew you both that your relationship was built on love, respect, loyalty, and genuine friendship. You are both the kind of men who leave a positive mark on the lives of others, and that makes this loss feel even more profound.
While no words can ease the pain of losing someone so close, I hope you find comfort in the countless memories, laughter, and moments you shared together. Those memories become a part of us forever, and the love between brothers never truly leaves.
Please know that I am thinking of you, praying for you, and sending you strength and peace in the days ahead. May your brother’s memory always be a blessing, and may you feel surrounded by the love of those who care about you.
He is with your mother and they will watch over you with love and admiration.
With my deepest sympathy and affection,
Paula
Fred, thank you for providing JT’s many friends and family updates throughout these many months, in addition to all the other things you’ve been handling. While I’m still in shock and so sad, it has helped me to know that you were there at the end and that he will be laid to rest with your mom, who he spoke of so often and was so devoted to.
Dear Fred and IGLTA family,
We feel as though we’ve been punched hard in the stomach. Allow me to share a “John memories” – something I know we will all be doing for years to come.
1. In March 2020, my younger brother Larry (4 years younger than I am) caught covid. ( at the time he lived with his family on Staten Island, now they live in Jersey) . He had terrible chest pains, couldn’t breathe. Within hours Larry was hooked up to a breathing machine in the hospital. His condition worsened and worsened. Infections, sepsis, pneumonia, again covid, it went on and on. Twice his wife was told to come to the hospital to say goodbye. They dressed her up in an astronaut suit and allowed her to have a few last moments with him. As we are Jewish, and Larry’s wife is Catholic, on both occasions there were both a priest and a rabbi at the hospital saying prayers and trying to comfort Larry’s wife and kids. This went on until May 30 (Larry’s birthday), when he started to show signs that he’s coming to (there is a story of how that happened, but I’ll keep this e mail short). To cut to the chase, Larry, came out of it and after 110 days on the breathing machine and he is now fine. John called me EVERY EVERY week to check on how Larry was doing. EVERY week he called to see what was happening, he told me that his prayers were with Larry, and he was sure that my brother would pull through. John, who works with people all over the world took the time every week to phone me to check out on Larry (who he never met). John was a real mensch! A true friend.
2. Since October 7th, 2023, there wasn’t a week that went by that John didn’t call to invite us to his place in Florida, later his place in Palm Springs, and also to both places. With the rockets falling here in Tel Aviv all around us, he called all the time to check how we are, if we are safe, and repeatedly invited us to “take a break” and come to his place. When I sent him a photo of the apartment building around the block from us that took a direct Iranian hit, he called and was bordering on angry that we aren’t taking him up on his offer. John wasn’t just being polite; he meant every word. John was a real mensch! A true friend.
3. Prior to carona, the IGLTA annual conventions were held in May. After Carona, they were moved to October. For me this worked out great because May was always my VERY busy season here in Israel. It happened twice over the past few years that totally by chance, the IGLTA conference was scheduled in October over the Jewish high holidays. Some Jewish colleagues in IGLTA I brought this to John’s attention. Without batting an eye, he said that this was not OK, and he had the dates of the conferences changed. John’s words were “obviously we can’t do a conference over Christmas or Easter, so we also can’t do it over Yom Kippur.” John was a real mensch! A true friend.
He is so missed. May he rest in peace. I know he feels the love we all are sending him.
Russell and Avi
Fred,
My heart is with you as you grieve the loss of your brother and best friend.
Although I never had the privilege of meeting John, I feel as though I know something of him through you. The depth of passion and compassion, kindness and humanity that lives in your heart, speaks volumes about the bond you shared with him. Some people leave such a profound imprint on the world that their presence is felt far beyond the lives they directly touch. John seems to be one of those rare souls.
The love between brothers like you and John lives on with every memory, every lesson shared, and every life changed by his presence.
Holding you always in my thoughts and sending much love as you navigate this unimaginable loss.
Carrying John in my thoughts and you in my heart.
Beside you in spirit,
Dina
Dear Fred,
John was a friend from college but actually all the way back to Shallowford Elementary. As othered have mentioned, he was always kind, funny, and just a good person. I know you will miss his beautiful presence. Please know of my prayers for you and your family during this time.
Kay